Amends (Log)

Nick · **Posted:** Wed Mar 10, 2010 7:29 am

Alyssa Spencer

Sam Swift

BP2, SL2, No Blush, Humanity 5

Location: Erythia

Sam was in a book again, this felt good. It was one of those really sunny books too, he could feel the caustic heat on his skin and imagined sweat which very different to the blush, realer. He was a bit like a dead thing to look at though, with his shoes off, slouched down on the sofa, in the back corner, feet on the seat and the fingers of one hand dug in to his messy hair, specks of sand on his uniform and his eyes rolling over words as his brain soaked them up and spun them in to deft imaginings.

He was using the upstairs VIP section of the club which in any other city would be full of Daeva revelers as a library and a semiotician's cathedral. It was such an irony that he was in that corner, like a nerd in a night club, a Daeva lair.

The doorman had let me in without hesitation and I'd smiled my best melting smile to him in return. He'd melted. The kine are so easy to play some nights that I almost pity them in their simplicity. Men are the easiest of all though some, like the one I'm here to hopefully see, are more complicated. I'd been harsh on the beach and it wasn't entirely his fault.

Humility isn't something Daeva know entirely huge amounts of but I can admit I over-reacted. It was partially my expectations and preconcieved notions of who Sam is. I still don't know him to the core but he's been increasingly... I don't know. Different around me.

I make my way up to the VIP room, heels clicking slightly, and go inside. I see him in the corner and I offer him a pleasant smile.

"Hello Sam."

The clicking heels didn't stir him but her voice did and he dropped the book and then fumbled to snatch it from mid air, somewhere between his hands and the floor leaning forwards and knocking his center of gravity in the process. It was like a juggle, it was as though his fast reflexes took immediately to rectify the fumble, the dip in composure and poise, the jerk of realisation, like a car on the road.

"Fuck. Yes. Hi, hello. Hi Alyssa." He slammed the book down more purposefully beside himself, raking a hand through his hair and then forcing a forced smile that definitely wasn't a melting one.

Watching him fumble is amusing and all over again endearing. I can feel the waves of his monster settling against mine in the familiar gyration that takes me back to that night in his haven. Distracting thoughts for now.

I cross the room to the couch near him and have a seat, leaning back and crossing my legs casually while clasping my hands on my lap. I'm fairly subdued tonight, docile even, but if anyone can rile me up when he needs to it's likely Sam.

"I wanted to apologize. For the beach." I begin.

Sam Lie: 1

"I was in the attic with the stars. I has everything toned down. I had my senses in the book." He said as if to explain away the fumble, first and he was particular, very careful when he said it as if it was important.

"That's absolutely fine Alyssa. I'm sorry that I upset you, I was being childish and making still jokes about not finding you interesting which is clearly intellectually impossible. So, let's forget about that?" He nodded, then he looked at the wall, perhaps not as comfortable with her sitting next to him as he was at the beach. No, almost definitely not comfortable.

"I re-acquainted myself with the city laws. When I came here, I saw the old laws from before the present Prince's reign and they're very different from the laws currently upheld here. Have you seen them?"

Alyssa Sense Lie: 2

"It can be water under the bridge or in the ocean or... wherever you want to put it." I nod, watching him curiously.

He's nervous, afraid even. Here I got all dressed up to look my finest when I came to apologize and it puts him more ill at ease? Sam, Sam, Sam... you continue to puzzle me. How can two people who are so alike so completely not understand one another at times?

"I'm frightening you." I say it softly, almost apologetically. "Why Sam?"

He just looked at her, sideways with a turned head. "Well..." He began slowly, a plod through thoughts to sort them in to a response, make them verbal. "I suppose it started out as me considering your agenda and diverged somewhat in to you entrancing me and my childe and ended up somewhere that you could technically and literally, stalk me nightly without me even knowing with a vague threat of unhinged displeasure on our last meeting, potentially resulting in me being buried in the ground, drained dry or blood bound to you against my will?" He said.

"I know that you need only step up behind me with a stake and take a lucky shot. I'm not dellusional, I know that you entranced Luke (you said you did it to stop him frenzying but he was hardly about to) and you wouldn't think twice about doing it to me. Entrancing me again I mean, I know it's harder but you're a determined, intelligent woman. You could?"

He paused. "If I knew what you wanted, I would feel more at ease."

"When I entranced you I seem to remember being hit with an even stronger dose of it myself. Not that the evening was regrettable by any means..." Though it had been a hell of a night. "As for Luke... he seemed so on edge. Very jealous. It was social lubricant... if I'd really meant ill I would've compelled him against his will further."

Though in hindsight I guess it was pretty bitchy of me to just throw the love on him. It wasn't to stop him from frenzying, did I say that? It was just to ease him up a little, to help him relax. He took one look at me and got pissed for some reason.

"I can cloak myself, yes. It's for protection more than anything. I'm not without enemies after all, there's a ghoul that's been stalking me for months. Now that he can't see me, hopefully he'll lose interest and go somewhere else."

Like the bottom of the ocean. Still, the thought of killing him even with as big a perv as he's shown is... frightening. I don't like killing, I really don't.

"I don't 'want' anything Sam... I suppose I thought we were playing games with each other. Most every vamp- Kindred in the city does. We even started off playing games, Count."

"Your ghoul? Who's ghoul? What? Wait, are you sure it's a he and not a she?" Sam shuffled around to face her on the sofa, still not entirely at ease but definitely intrigued. He propped his ais lifted knees and brushed the side of a curling forefinger against her arm barely.

"There's a ghoul, stalking you? What?"

"His name is Jax. Who he works for or even what Covenant I don't know yet... I'll find out sooner or later. We haven't gone to the court yet because we have no one to accuse. Even if I did, what guarantee they'd help?"

Selma has my back somewhat in that corner, I'm part of her flock. She won't allow me to be strung up unjustly because, frankly, I don't see how it would serve her aims to. If she disliked me she wouldn't waste her time teaching me the Testament.

"He's attacked me once before. He can cloak also and he's strong as any Daeva. Jax is dangerous. He could be here now for all I know... I can't see through him."

Laughter, it bubbled up like lava from somewhere underneath his stomach that made it sound like it had travelled a long distance to get out of him. "Who told you Jax was a ghoul?" He knows Jax, his eyes and his smile says he knows him. "He's not a ghoul." Sam smiled a bright beaming smile. "You're as paranoid as I am. Oh, god. Really, Jax? You're worried about Jax?" More laughter and he seemed to ease a little but his smile faded slowly.

"Would you consent to Revelation to confirm that you don't have an agenda that will bring me harm, Alyssa?" His hands had their fingers laced underneath his chin as he asked it and he watched her narrowly with those dead dark, lightless, lifeless eyes, dull eyes really.

"I'd rather you take me at my word. I'll answer any 'agenda' questions you might have but, frankly, when Revelation is used on me that's a floodgate I really hate. I doubt you'd want to listen to it anyway. Then again... my odds of stopping you are slim to none to it's up to you if you feel like violating my privacy that way."

And turnabout is fair game, I'll hit him with it back just as hard. If there's one discipline I'm good at it's screwing with peoples emotions. Doesn't hurt that I'm decent with a knife these days either.

"What do you mean he isn't a ghoul though? I've seen him use our powers, I bit him when he grappled me and his blood was human enough. Are you telling me he's something else?"

"I'm telling you, categorically he has fangs." Sam smiled and sank slightly, "Are you just saying this shit about Jax to throw me off? Seriously? He stinks of death, he's made of beef fucking jerky. I've tasted his blood too but I can't remember the taste, I can't remember it tasting particularly noteworthy. He's not a ghoul. He's Hajime's. Hajime told me Jax was his, posessively, his. So he's his childe or his thrall. Naturally?"

He smiled at Alyssa: "You do like your Crones, don't you." Sam was amused under the surface and Alyssa could tell but he was repressing that too. "So, look my in the eye then? And tell me you don't mean me any harm? Hm?"

"I can give you Hajime's telephone number if you like. He has a leash for Jax, I asked him to tug on it for me because Jax is so excitable." A pause and with slightly absent eyes Sam added: "He's adorable."

Hajime... finally a name! Relief is probably evident on my face at that though the knowledge that Jax has fangs now is less so.

"Great... so if he's still stalking me then it's as a vampire. He starts knowing Majesty off the bat guess you'll know who he ate it off huh?"

Hajime... so good to know!

"I don't mind the Crones. Different theology but still a matter of faith. They, it seems, mind me." I look him square in the eye. "I don't mean you any harm."

Sam nodded, mildly appeased. Looking her in the eye he said: "Don't entrance Luke ever again." although it was technically an order and not a question his voice was soft when he said it. "He's a confused enough creature as it is without developing new unnatural fascinations with charming... well, with you or anyone else." Sam doesn't sound remotely posessive when he says that, he sounds maternal. He gives her a strange clue as to the nature of his relationship with his foster childe. Subtly reveals unintentionally that he does care about Luke in a human way but an entirely unromantic one.

"I'm not a Crone anymore and technically Hajime isn't either and neither is Jax. The Circle here is a bit of a joke. It's unfortunate. But it is. So, don't mention Hajime or Jax or me in passing and definitely not in the same sentence. Hajime's powerful but he's reasonable. You should tread a little carefully with him. He's sociable though so you really could call him and tell him Jax has been naughty. He might like to know..." Sam's smile was mild.

"What did he do to you." It has been a while since Sam looked her over like that, like he was searching her, like he was leering, a vaguely suggestive glance.

"I'll take that number then, thank you very much."

I pull out my phone so I can copy it down.

"Deal. No using the juice on Luke unless he's about to rip my head off. Destiny not making the Crone all it can be?"

"If you need to ask..." Sam said, trailing off, then he took his phone out and gave her Hajime's number. "This is Daeva networking. This is what we do. You can point him my way if he's confused and explain that, right Alyssa?" He holds the phone out for her to copy down Hajime's number and then he leans past his own knees to plant a kiss on her cheek.

"Do you want mine too?" He asked, looking her in the eye, seeming reassured from his prior fear?

"Sure." I smile to him, not backing down from the kiss.

I prefer him this way than the fearful, silent type. The information he gave me is golden, enough so that I might consider just jumping on him here and now. Hmm, wouldn't quite be kosher though now would it?

"I'll say you gave me the info if he asks." I nod. "As for what Jax did... it was really gross. Left male juices all over my room and then ambushed me later on in a SoMa alley and beat on me for a little. Real pleasant guy."

Sam Resolve + Composure: 5

Sam nodded solemnly and he looked the picture of serene sympathy. There wasn't the slightest hint of the reaction he had really had to that information anywhere to be seen, infact it almost seemed boring or trivial to him, he nudged his fingers through his hair to get it out of his face and smiled at her with that long lost fondness again, staying where he was sat and just using fingers to scroll down on his phone screen to his own number so that she could take it.

"..." Apparently that didn't even illicit a verbal response or reassurance that she'd be okay. Apparently words needn't even be said and Sam was still and unbreathing picture of poise and placidity. He seemed not only calm himself, but calming, he had a relaxing and understanding effect, the effect of a good listener.

The kiss he placed on her forehead and the nudge of his hand on her shoulder only underlined that sense of silent support and incredible maturity she had from him.

Wow, he reacted better to that than I did. Guess he's either amused by it and doesn't want to say or he's outraged and is keeping his cool. It's only, you know, two distinct differences. Sam, for his faults, isn't like Jax though. If he could cloak maybe he'd turn that way but he's a cad, not a pervert. Jax needs a really cold shower.

"He hasn't gotten me yet." I say, quietly.

The kiss feels good as does his hand of support, I let myself fall into it momentarily and just enjoy.

"That didn't elicit much of a reaction though. Tell me you don't think that's okay for someone to do."

"Knowing what you know now. Knowing that he's actually kindred and that he probably was then. If I were you, I'd think of it as an elaborate practical joke." He rubbed her upper arm and then he shifted, surprisingly to hug her, that little bit like he was her sire again, propped on his knees but hunkered around her so her head could easily bob against his chest.

"I'm sorry you were scared." That was so sincere that if Sam was lying he was doing a really good job. "I'm sorry you felt violated. He's somewhere between a rotweiler and perverted 15 year old. Somewhere. It's not a reflection on you."

He sank a tiny amount still wrapping her in his arms but becoming slightly more comfortable, kissing her hair that time.

"That's not an okay thing for someone to do." Beanie.That's not an okay thing for someone to do.

If he's lying he's doing a damn good job of it and I really don't want him to be lying so I don't look any further into it. I enjoy the feel of his touch against me, returning his hug gently in contrast to the literal throw I gave him on the sand.

"Knowing he's a vampire now is some comfort. I don't have to worry about him coming during the day again." Which is very true. "He'll have a hell of a hard time catching me."

Especially now that I enter and leave my haven cloaked and the Mission haven is as secure as they come. I could still be found, technically, but it wouldn't be easy and I'd have the advantage in any encounter there.

I laugh a little.

"He's the whole reason I even learned how to fight."

Sam smiled. "Good. I'm glad." He smoothed the cool backs of fingers against her cheek and then dipped his nose to look at her face. "That's good? He was never really a threat. You know? Like I said, Hajime, he's reasonable. He just has strange taste. Call him, be polite, be a Daeva, let him know what a little shit Jax has been. It has inconvenienced you."

He lowered his voice: "It's good it made you stronger though?"

"Alyssa, I've been scared. You know where I sleep. I've been scared." He was looking her in the eye. "I was waiting for the stake inbetween my shoulder blades; talking to myself. Please don't think I don't understand." One more kiss. On her mouth this time but light enough to be classified as fit for fae and ghosts and other ethereals. There's no imprint left behind, no sense his lips pressed to hers - more a dab or a graze. More like a gesture than an actual solid sensation. A cold hand rubbed the centre of her back; the middle of her spine in a circle and he looked towards the upstairs bar.

He was a threat... a very real, dire threat. I'll always know that. He still is a threat but there's worse out there. If Lahn catches me I'm likely well and truly screwed.

"You scared me too Sam. One moment your warm and the next your cold, I have a hard time knowing what mood you're going to be in and it changes by the minute. Guess I'm one to talk but you know..." I shrug. "I was never really cracked out for this... for being what I am now. I should have died those years ago and, artistic as I can be, I keep thinking about that."

I shrug, shaking my head slightly.

"I'm not a doomsayer and maybe you think I'm some religious zealot but I'm truly afraid of the concept of hell. That's why I'm doing this, why I'm in the Spear. I'm undying but I know, eventually, I'm going to be ashed. When I do I hope that, if I do my job right, I'll find some sort of peace."

He nodded slowly, then he whispered in her ear warmly (for all his breath was cold) "I didn't use Revelation you know?" It was a tiny joke but he was still letting go of her. "I feel anxious about no-one noticing I'm gone. That's what I get anxious about. No-one remembering I'm gone. No-one caring. I don't want anyone to love me or care about love at all, I just want people to trust me and respect me because I know that love is a danger and makes people stupid and wreckless. It's reductive, it's a form of insanity - but when I think about dying, really dying... if no-one loves me, no-one will mourn me or remember me. I'll just cease to be; I'll be immaterial. I'll be meaningless, nothingness. Right now, I would have been nothingness."

He planted a cold damp kiss behind her ear and then spoke against the skin there boyishly: "If anyone comes in right now we're going to look like right a pair of tragics."

He's not wrong, they're in some ill placed hug on the sofa at the back of the room as if they're posing for a shoot for a perfume advertisement. They half look like they should be cuddling under a table, or in some sort of childish fort.

"No doubt we will. Perhaps they'll feel down themselves and want to join us." I laugh. "I don't, can't, really love you Sam. But I do remember you and I do enjoy your company. If you disappeared I'd notice before long, we have a tendency to bump into one another."

And like he said, I know where he sleeps. If something seemed off I could always drop in and check. I'll keep that to myself, don't need him thinking I'm going to be spying on him more than I already do.

"I heard Alexi was mentioning something about never seeing me. You two are acquainted, aren't you?"

"I asked him not to talk to anyone before I spoke to you. I asked him not to." He was looking her in the eye. "I was worried you were going to plug me or bond me. Because you could. You know it's a fact. You know you could. You know that. Entrancement and two more kisses and I could be a kindred-ghoul, cloak of night and an unexpected stake and I could be an ornament. Please don't pretend that's not a fact."

He shook his head. "I told him I was worried that you had an agenda, he said he might pass that on to someone who could help and I told him to wait until I'd spoken to you again. I wanted to confront you about it."

He shook his head and frowned slightly. "Should I spend time with you? I was certain when I spoke to him I shouldn't. You might not have been wrong about my moods."

He let go of her finally and fell back, pulled away and back in to that corner of the sofa. "Maybe we should just..."

"I could... to be honest it's even a little tempting. Who wouldn't want someone who loves them unconditionally? That would always be there for them? It's tempting, much of what we are offers temptation. Would I do it though? No. I've retained a lot of my center. Forcibly binding someone is too low for me."

Luke and I wanted to mutually bond but Killian stole that from me. Still, I love Killian in spite of it for everything he's done for me as well as the taste of his Vitae. I wish I could remember it... surely Killian cares about me in some shape too since he spared my life.

"If you need your space I'll give it to you. My intent isn't to force anything on you or to stake you, I'm not a violent person despite what I've asked Amara to train me in. You have only my word to that but I really don't want another enemy." I sigh. "So it's up to you. You can tell Alexi and he might figure out a way to have me poured into a cement foundation somewhere or you can trust me that I don't harbor ill intents or... yeah."

"No more disciplines. None?" He's looking her in the eye from his recessed position. "Don't use any on me or mine. None. None at all." He's like a little boy there, the way he's looking at her. His eywide and his chin is tipped down and his mouth shapes the words like they're part of a pact. A serious agreement. An accord.

"No more disciplines that effect you directly. I'm not giving up my heightened eyes. All the better to enjoy your form with after all." I nod. "No forced drinking from me, no stakes in your back unless you try to kill me, and no stalking you with the cloak. I'll reveal myself to you provided it's safe to do so."

Popping out in front of mortals isn't a grand idea as Lahn taught us all.

"Same goes for you though if I agree to this. You don't entrance me, you don't compel me to whisper all my dirty laundry to you, and you don't move against me or mine yourself."

He held his hand out for her to shake it, reached it out and it was a nice hand, smooth and straight fingered. Lanh would salivate at the sight of a hand like that. He blinked at her and being Sam she knew it was an affected blink, she knew that he was trying to look innocent in doing it but that really; he was and it was a decoration. There wasn't any deciet, just tact.

He's such an actor but it's part of why I like him. Sam's a remorseless individual and I envy that in many ways even if I can't pull it off myself. I take his hand in mine, shaking it.

"Deal."

Having shook her hand he reeled back again and seemed to slump, tipping his head back a second, before saying: "Okay. Let's go have sex." It was a joke, entirely dry. He was acting like a semi-concious drunkard then, slumped back, slack armed, his eyes became half lidded, if he were human he would look like he wanted to go to sleep.

The smile is what cuts through that look as his gaze slides to her from beneath dark lashes; the smile it too subtly aware and sound, too sober and laid-back.

"Maybe if you sounded more enthusiastic." I smile like a complete Minx. "There's always tomorrow night though, right?"

I shuffle closer, placing my hands on either of his shoulders, then lean in. My head tilts sideways and I press my lips to his fully, letting him feel the false warmth of my flesh as I latch to his mouth. My kiss is hungry and, yes, meant to tease. My legs, flush with warmth and being revealed more and more as the dress pulls up, move to straddle him before I rise off the couch and re-straighten my outfit.

"I'm glad we had this talk." I smile innocently.

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